Complicated feeling...
Today is Sunday but not a sunny day. It is raining - cats and dogs.
My mum is sitting next to me and listening to radio with me. Well, the programme is about Kelly Chan's wedding.
She is looking at what I am doing but she does not know what I am doing actually. She knows 26 alphabets and some very simple words.
The feeling is complicated. My mum is old but of course lovely. These years she begins to forget things. I know it is the side-effect of getting old. It is sad to realize that. Every time when she pushes me to find a partner. My heart is broken. It is not because I feel embarrassed. I will try to avoid the topic but I know she wants to see all of us to be married. It was also the will of my dad but he would never see now. I want to satisfy them but I cannot at the moment. I can behave myself to be a good son except that. I can study hard and work hard but love is something I really cannot control. Fate does not come, what can I do? I know time flies I need to catch time. God, is it something going wrong?
Recently I have tried to organize my photos. When I see the albums, they recall the days and the memories - more than 10 years ago. We were 20's but many of the friends are parents of kids already. I know the days will never come again. I am now trying to scan all the photos and burn in DVDs. I will treasure every moment it came into my life.
Job is one of the things it always makes me puzzled. It seems it is never stable. It also seems it is never what I want. I am working hard everyday but it never turns out what I want. Maybe it is what IT is. I am just a small potato (even though I have been here for more than 10 years). People are result-oriented. You cannot success you fail. I asked myself thousands of times - what else can I do?
Well... that's life.
